You can't shut me out

The Federal government released a report highlighting issue’s faced by people with disabilities and their families in 2009.
I have lived with a disability for almost 28 years and have faced all the issue’s outlined in the report but one thing the report doesn’t show is the fact that despite all the issue’s you can’t shut me out.
The Shut out report does highlight food for thought for us as a community, area’s where the service system while brilliant is falling short.
If we want to truly empower people with disabilities we have to improve access to Aids and Equipment, community buildings, health care and transport.
One of the best ways to stop people with disabilities being shut out is to promote access to education opportunities. I am able to be effective in the community because l have had these chances a right that is protected by the UN. Every person has a right to education.
Statistics have also proven the better education a person has the better the access will be to employment. Yet another right protected by the UN.
If the government wants less people using up centerlink resources they can start by translating the words printed in a nice glossy Shut out report into action.
I am living proof that if action is taken you can overcome the issues raised in the Shut out report.
It is sad that in a prosperous country like Australia there are so many people with disabilities and their families that still feel disadvantaged and Shut out.
Miss Gillard you can’t shut me out. “Remember to keep the wheels of life turning in your direction”.

Seek asylum from hate

By Chris Van Ingen
Today I ask us to seek asylum from hate in our hearts and let asylum seekers into our beautiful country.
Boat people are not on a holiday cruise they want freedom from fear isn’t that what you want?
One of the units I train in the disability course is cultural diversity and the different family backgrounds of participants always amaze me, after all every European Australian only arrived a few generations ago.
On my dad’s side of the family I am second generation Australian so I try to remember that before I judge anyone coming to this country.
In my prep for the cultural diversity unit my wife pointed out that we live on an island and should something happen we would be boat people too, food for thought.
According to literature from the immigration museum most asylum seekers return to their homeland once the threat to their life has past.
Personally I think the people that stay make Australia the place it is but if you listen to the media we are being “Over Run!”, however, the fact is there are only a few hundred boat people every year.
Did you know? that it is not illegal to seek asylum and when we lock asylum seekers in detention centres we are braking a UN treaty we signed in good faith.
My disability has made me a person obsessed with security so I know we have to protect Australia but there has never been an asylum seeker that was a terrorist.
My disability also makes me realise how lucky I am because if I lived somewhere else I might not be alive and I want everyone to have the chance to live a life like the one I have been blessed with.
I don’t pretend to have the answers this blog is just a space to think. Please remember we are all human and when you forget try recalling that we live on an Island.
“Keep the wheels of life turning in your direction.”

This YoYo life

By Chris Van Ingen

I have been reflecting on the way of the world and I know that this is a yo-yo life it goes up and down but as long as you keep hold of the string you’ll be ok.
To some people life might seem like an illusion but you can be your very own illusionist and create magic in your life and here is the irony it doesn’t take any tricks.
Some people are determined to see me as an inspiration am l unique? No l am not all l am doing is adding my voice to all the people in history that have said anything is possible because l believe if enough people say it we can change the world.
I believe something as idealistic as world peace is attainable but every person on the planet has to go for it.
I haven’t posted anything for a while because l have been doing some spiritual meditation.
During this discovery process l have been melting together Zen philosophies with my Christian values my priest may not like this but for me the results have been profound.
“Life is as it is.” A favourite quote from many great Zen masters.
I have a disability so what it is as it is. I also have the most beautiful wife in history and the opportunity and skills to live a great life and if you are reading this Blog so do you.
Remember “ keep the wheels of life turning in your direction.”

Sexuality and Disability

By Chris Van Ingen
Sex is something that we all see on T.V, here on the radio and do in the privacy of our own home but when it comes to talking about it we all get embarrassed. Sex is something that every one wants to do whether we are straight, gay or in between.

Now I'm going to let you in on a little secret, the scoop of the century disabled people like sex too. In my life I have been through fifteen operations and indescribable pain every day, but the most difficult thing for me to cope with was the sexual frustration and not been able to do anything about it.

As a young man just trying to figure out my sexuality I was confronted with all female carers and let me tell you, while I have never done anything inappropriate there were times the thoughts I was having could have got me slapped in the face.

Now you may ask why I didn’t get male carers if I felt so uncomfortable. The answer is there are not many male carers around and in my opinion the female ones are better.

A lot of people assume that because you are incapable of walking, dressing yourself and even talking, that you don’t have even the thought of sex in your head. This is not the case. Once there was a quote in a book that I had read where a disabled guy said “how can I not think about sex when I spend every day at tits and ass level”

I’m not saying any of this to embarrass anyone or so you feel sorry for me.

Do I have the answers? No, We live in the real world. Now I’m one of the lucky ones. I have a beautiful fiancée but before that what were my options? A lot of disabled people go and see sex workers but that all depends on someone being comfortable enough to take you there. There are a lot of people that say they are comfortable with people with disabled and that they treat them like every one else but when the topic of sex comes up they get a disgusted look on there face. Ask yourself this question - would anyone you know feel comfortable taking someone to go have sex at an establishment?

I understand it’s very confronting - just think what it is like having someone take them to a strange place, strip them naked and then the person would leave the room knowing that they are going to have sex.
I remember every time I went out clubbing I used to go with the intention of ‘picking up’, then one day I realised what the hell would I do if I did? If I went back to her place I don’t have a hoist and unless they are a big brut of a woman, which isn’t my type, they certainly wouldn’t be able to lift me into their bed - so you can see my predicament.

I’m lucky I have the greatest family in the world and that is why the first time I was ever with a woman my dad literally lifted me into her bed and then came back in the morning and put me back into my wheel chair, talk about an awkward situation. It’s only been recently that I realised it would have been difficult for my dad as well as the woman involved.

When I was a teenager it was my biggest fear that when I had the chance to actually be involved with someone my body would let me down and I wouldn’t be able to do anything. I am now more experienced and some of my fears have come true - because of my physical restrictions there are some things I would like to do but cannot, for example I am envious of those people who decide to do it right there on the spot. I have to make sure that there is a hoist available and any other equipment that is needed to get me out of my wheel chair. I have however learnt to adapt an unfortunate but necessary evil.

I’m only one man and these are my experiences but I could pretty much guarantee you that most disabled men and women have had similar experiences and feelings.

I am one of the lucky ones, I can communicate quite clearly which allows me to express my sexual frustrations, needs and desires. There are many disabled people that cannot, let me tell you they would be in a living hell.

Let’s get down to business whether it’s right or wrong a person’s sexuality helps define who they are.

It is my experience that disabled people don’t really have a sexual identity. How many of you have seen a movie with a disabled person having sex? I can think of one offhand, a brilliant movie called “dance me to my song “.

For every body identity is a fragile thing. Most people get to discover their identity on their own by choosing the clothing they want to wear, whether you’re shaven or unshaven, whether your hair is long or short, these are all choices you get to make every day. Some disabled people don’t get to make those choices. What outfit do you have in your cupboard at home that you know as soon as you put it on you feel sexy?, for me it’s my leather jacket, I know that when I put that jacket on no woman can resist me. It is our responsibility as people with disabilities to make people aware of our sexual needs.

Let’s think about this – what is the community’s attitude towards sex in general? There are many things that contribute to community values about sex in Australia. I personally believe that we have very conservative views about sex and it impacts on a person with a disability because information about help available for people with disabilities isn’t circulated in the community and therefore people with disabilities do not know where to turn to with their sexual confusion.

It is community attitudes that can lead to a person with a disability having behavioural changes. Sexual frustration can often lead to anger because the person has no way of expressing what they are feeling. I have heard a story of a young man in permanent care that was aggressive towards the carers but once he found some sexual relief his whole demeanour changed. Unfortunately the relief he found was soon put a stop to because the people in charge considerate it not “appropriate”.

Community attitudes have often surprised me. I have always been upfront about my desire to have sex and even one day to have a family and some of the questions I’ve been asked by complete strangers’ border on obscenity. In my life time I have been asked! Yeh but have you got a penis? Can you get an erection? And some women have even asked me if I can have sex? To which I used to reply “I’m willing to find out if you are.”



Every body in the world has different sexual beliefs and things that they consider to be morally and sexually appropriate. Each person’s opinion is as valid as the next.

There are many care organizations that have rules prohibiting there carers from assisting people with disabilities with there sexual needs.

There is a defiant need or these rules to be in place but there has to be some strategy put in place to help people deal with their needs.

At very least care organizations should be able to recommend a qualified sex therapist to the person and know a sex therapist isn’t another way of saying a prostitute. There are qualified people with university degrees that can help people with disabilities to resolve there sexual frustrations.

So in this day and age people with disabilities no longer have to suffer in silence with their sexual frustrations.

Blind To The Truth

By Chris Van Ingen
With resent events this is a good time to open our eyes and look at a forgotten truth1 in 5 people will be diagnosed with a mental illness at some stage in their lifetime.
Mr. Premier you spend millions on a sporting events and I congratulate on their success but Mr Premier but how many time do I have to read in the paper about a young mother who tried to kill herself and her three children before you take action?
HHHHHHHHere’s the kicker so often there are stories of people that tried to get help for years but thanks to your cost cutting Mr premier they were not able to get help in time.
So on behalf of everyone I ask you Mr Premier what’s more important the health of your people or the adulation of a few sports fanatics?
It is important for us all to remember that mental health issues are just legitimate as any other medical condition.
It is easy for people to believe I have Cerebralpalsy because they can see my wheelchair, mental illness is not as obvious but in many cases it can be more debilitating.
Some readers may not believe this statement, however, I have spent my life around mental illness and disability including a long family history, so the effect it has on the individual and the people closest to them.
Mental illness is not something people can just snap out of and it’s not something that only affects the weak there are many high profile people living with mental health problems.
So after reading this please keep in mind illness doesn’t just affect the body it also affects the mind.
Remember “Keep the wheels of life turning in your direction.”

The Ostrich Effect

by Chis Van Ingen
How much longer is the world going to suffer from the environmental Ostrich syndrome?
I saw a Ted Egan documentary made in 1985 that talked about the destruction of our rainforest but we still live in an environment of complacency in 2010.
Al Gore may have won the Oscar for his doomsday prediction but as soon as the cameras stopped rolling we put that inconvenient truth back in its box.
What we’ve failed to realise is that box has become a ticking time bomb for the next generation to defuse.
The good thing is every native culture around the world has already given us the answer all we have to do now is learn from the past and act for the future.
Since the beginning of time indigenous people have lived in harmony with the land then somewhere along the line we declared war on nature.
It is our consumer lust that drives the continued rape of this planet that gives us life and I must confess until now I have been an accessory to this crime.
The ancients knew survival depends on only taking what you need and then giving nature time to regenerate, a simple lesson we must learn before it’s too late.
If we want to save the planet each of us has to decide to buy only environmentally friendly organic free trade produces.
Until that day corporations will continue giving customers what they want so it’s time for a power shift.
Remember “keep the wheels of life turning in your direction.”

wall of ignorance

by Chris Van Ingen
Andrew Peacock’s comment “you have to be handicapped to understand Labor polices.” highlights the wall of ignorance people with disabilities still face.
I have loved politics sens I met Paul Keating when he was prime minister and I was even a member of Mr Peacock’s own party but I haven’t heard ignorance like that sens primary school.
For anyone still living in the dark agers with Mr Peacock here my introduction to disability lecture.
I will baffle you, astound you and tell you the truth as I see it. Let me start by asking you this question – What is the difference between you and me? The answer is nothing, we are all human beings. What is a disability?
A disability is
“any restriction or lack of ability to perform an activity in the manner, or within the range considered to be normal for a human being.”
There are many different types of disabilities. I’ve had friends that have cerebral palsy just like me that are higher functioning than. I am I have also had friends that are lower functioning because like any thing in life every one is different, each disability is different. Unless you have lived with a disability you will never know what it’s like just as I will never know what it’s like dealing with the trials and tribulations of your life. I am only here as proof of what living with a disability is actually like, at least what it’s like for me. Every one on the face of this earth has their difficulties every day but for a person with a disability it can sometimes feel like these difficulties are magnified ten thousand times. Just to give you a small illustration of these difficulties I would like every person here to grab a pen in their opposite hand to the one you write with, hold it in a fist and then try and write your name.
Something as simple as writing your name can be this difficult for me and this is with my good hand. I’m not saying any of this to embarrass you or make you feel sorry for me these are just the facts. Every day I have to have someone dress me, feed me, shower me and even wipe my bum.

I have been incredibly lucky because at the stage that my brain damage occurred the doctors believed the areas of my brain that control speech and intellectual capacity were not developed that is why I’m able to communicate so clearly and because of this I have been able to function at a high level in society despite my physical difficulties. Even with my communication skills and normal intellectual abilities I have still been confronted with nasty stereo types and discrimination like all people with disabilities. Just the other day I was out with my fiancée having lunch and the waitress came up to the table and said “we have chicken nuggets and chips if he would like that” she didn’t even acknowledge my presence at the table. So naturally I replied “I’ll have the open steak sandwich, thanks.” This lady did not mean any disrespect, she just wasn’t aware enough. This is the case with a lot of people. That is why I always try and educate people rather than getting mad. I have found you get further that way.
If you lovely people are going to work in the disability field, the most important thing to remember is you are not there to do the person with a disability a favour so it is important to be a professional at all times. I can guarantee you if a person with a disability had any other choice you would not be in their lives as carers. I have found the general rule of thumb is ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. In other words don’t do anything to your clients that you wouldn’t like done to yourself. Let me ask you this question – please look at the person next to you, now what if I was to tell you that the person you are looking at right now is coming home with you tonight, strip you naked and shower you. The standard answer to this question is ‘hell no!’. But people with disabilities have no choice. I have had carers that think I am invincible because of the way I joke around and act confident. This is just my way of protecting myself from the invasion of privacy I deal with every day and it is because of this bravado a few carers have made inappropriate comments about my weight while showering me and even comments about how disgusting my bowel movements are. Comments like this are completely inappropriate because it is comments like these that make me feel more disabled than anything.

There are many issues that disabled people face everyday. For example,
How will we get from one place to another?
How do we gain access to friend’s places, shops etc?
How do we deal with sexual frustration when society believes that disabled people don’t have sex so therefore they don’t even think about it?
I’m not asking you to answer any of these questions. The only thing people with disabilities want is for everyone to be open minded and simply aware – after all that’s why we call it ‘disability awareness’.
Thank you for your time.
I am happy to answer any questions you may ask.